Dear 2011…

You started out like this:

and you ended up like this:

It got a bit dodgey there in the middle (thanks johnny depp for the great line). But here are some highlights, lest I forget the craziness of this year.

In the beginning of the year, I decided to leave the LDS church. Jed and I had extensive conversations about if he would take our kids to church if I didn’t go. It scared him. I got angry that he felt fear. It’s not that I don’t believe but certain factors had riddled me to a pulp. I couldn’t come up from under them – it was a while in the making. It was intense, and mind boggling and emotionally draining.

It finally reached a head and then several things happened. They happened one a day for seven days in a row. Seriously. Amazing. Profound. Out of the ordinary. Completely real. And totally tailored for me personally..spiritually. I experienced a powerful paradigm shift.

Some things inside me broke and fell away….and that was fantastically ok.

Kinda like the picture – stone upon stone on an amazingly clear day.

Because of that shift, I was open to accept these opportunities when they appeared:

1. LDS. Yep, I still am one…and I go to church, every, well most Sundays. 🙂

2. Power of Moms. Attended several retreats and learned about deliberate mothering. So great to be surrounded by fabulous, powerful mothers who were working on being successful.

2. Mormon Women Project. When the founder asked for my help in planning an event,I was able to see it’s importance for me and how to balance it with being a mom.

3. LDSBC. Somehow enrolled and am now attending school for a degree in interior design. Totally didn’t see that one coming!

4. Family. Jeds cousins, T and T, became active in the church again. We were able to see them endowed and sealed in the temple. T has adopted us into her family and we do monthly family gatherings with them. At a time when my family is fractured, it is nice to be able to have an adoptive family to belong to.

5. Friends. For the first time in the 4 years we have lived here, I feel a sense of belonging in our area. I have a handful of real friends who are honest, true and a lot of fun.

5. Jed. This year has been crazy for Jed and I. But we are closer now then ever before and more real with one another. We have put alot of energy in this system and are now seeing positive results.

6. Discipline. In 6 weeks I lost 25 lbs. I need to lose more but I am proud of what I have done!

2011, it was quite a ride, but oh so worth it! So excited for 2012 – bring it!


  1. says

    You are an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing. I have had my moments of thinking about not going to church…my little family does not fit the traditional mold, but things do work out and it is truly amazing when the clarity comes. Congratulations on accomplishing so much. Love ya my friend!

  2. says

    Wow! I would love to hear more about your experiences this year if you feel like sharing them. I feel like so many of my friends are at that critical tipping point–some have left and been okay, others have left and destroyed everything around them. I don't know that there is a right or wrong about it–it's just nice to see someone come back from it all.

    I hope that you have a great 2012. Loved the card.

  3. says

    B – so glad you have been along for the ride!
    T – I love you too!
    M – yes, I would be happy to share more of my experience. What helped me alot was people sharing their real feelings and what they had done in similar situations. So I'll email you or post a bit more on the blog at a later date.
    And S – let's do lunch anytime!

  4. says

    You go girl! Congrats on all the great things going on in your life. Hope you wrote it all down somewhere. These kinds of stories are so amazing amongst all the pain.

    25 pounds? I am soooo jealous, but great to see how commitment turns into great results.

    Enjoy 2012!

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