Dear 2014

Another year in review…goodbye 2014….hello 2015!

 1. Several years ago I attended a conference at a local University. While walking across campus, I had a distinct impression, “Write your stories.” It was as if a warm summer wind came down the mountain and took my breath away. I pretended I had not heard, not felt in my heart what had been whispered to me. I kept walking to my destination and the thought came forcefully again and again to my mind.

I quickly found a place where I could sit and let this sink in. Write my stories? What did that mean? Who cares about my stories?! Yet, while I thought, the ideas that came that day eventually turned into the birth stories, of my articulating my wrestle with prenatal depression and my seeking out and cherishing the stories of those who participate in their lives. As I review this year, I realize it has been  a time for me to finally find a voice for those stories that have rattled around inside me for quite a while. Thank you for giving me a place to speak my truth and tell my stories.

My ritual writing space.
A moment at ALT this year.

2. My Grandma Ruth died this year.  She was a force of life, a master networker of family and friends and always ready for the next adventure. She had many qualities I greatly admired. A few months before she died, she was moved to a care center. Old age and the process of dying were up close and personal when we would visit, eat her never ending supply of treats and tell her our stories.  Hospice says that dying is a process for most people – a time to get ready to enter the other side of existence. My grandma was definitely in this stage of getting ready but for a couple of hours one afternoon, she and I connected. Miss S and I happened to sing a song by her bedside…and Grandma woke and said, “More.” I spent the next hour singing acapella to and with her, songs of my childhood and songs I knew she would enjoy. Sometimes I messed up or made up words and a slight smile came across her face or she would try and sing the words with me. All with her eyes closed, all while holding my hand in hers. Eventually she stopped responding but it had been a beautiful and cherished moment of goodbye to the women who had taught and shown me so much. She passed away several days later.

Gma Ruth after one of her many trips

3. In January, I turned 40. In July, Jed and I celebrated 10 years of marriage. I had always thought these events would be huge parties many months in the planning with large gatherings of friends far and near. However, this year has been full of smaller gatherings – of friends, new and old, and of family.  So many shared conversations, game nights, weekend adventures, Sundaes on Sundays, Moms Group, Book Club, Sisters Weekend, double dates and more. For the first time in my life, I had moments of being completely content. Ah-freaking-mazing.

At a St. Regis summer concert (Kevin Bacon!) with my favorite partner in crime.
Silly people whom I am happy to claim as my own. Yes, we love to play!
My sister from another mother. She’s taught me so many things!
Each one one of these ladies has changed my life for the better – taught me to dream big, to never give up and to believe.
We cry, we laugh, we learn together how to be better moms. I couldn’t ask for a better support group.
My parents and kids on my birthday. Oh the adventures we have together. 

4. And last for this year, but never least…these two.

Mr R turned 8 this year, started the second grade and I watched as he turned from a little boy into a wiry, mud-loving, football-throwing boy. I feel like he is my heart on my sleeve beating outside my body. How I love and am so proud of him.

And Miss S turned 5 this year and started kindergarten. She is tough, sassy and revels in imagination. I sit in wonder of her sometimes and am so happy she is in my life. She still cuddles, gives loves and sings songs with me.

Together they stress me out and bring me joy that I never imagined. I feel so lucky to have them and when they are giggling together or breaking into spontaneous dance parties, my heart is completely at home and all is right in the world.

This year they told me that we need to adopt a brother or sister…when I asked why they simply said, “The More the Merrier Mom.” Hm.

I guess if the Universe has another child for us in one way or another my kids are ready to welcome them into the family. So if you happen to know someone who needs a good home…..well, the more the merrier….

So who knows what 2015 will bring. Here’s to stories, friendships, life, and the beauty of another year to figure it out all over again. Happy New Year!

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  1. says

    What an amazing dance you are doing. I am so happy to be part of your life. Happy New Year to you and your cute family… We love you!
    Hope and pray the new year provides many opportunities to sing and dance… Even when it rains.

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