Moments of Disconnect – Calgon Take Me Away!

Today, I had a great day. Got up early with the kids – made breakfast, thought ahead and defrosted lunch -had a play date with a friend and her son. Ate said defrosted lunch and decided it was time to go to the store. Although it was past nap time, I figured we could just postpone for a few hours with no real harm.

So I loaded up the kids and headed off. I had a list. I had my coupons. I stopped and got Riley a chocolate milk and a cookie to keep him occupied at the store and sat Serah in the front of the cart so she could look around and be content. Fabulous….for about 3 minutes.

Then I realized my first coupon was for a 24 oz bottle of saline – 12.00 with a 3.00 off coupon. However, the saline I normally buy was 1.96. Stupid coupon. Next up, Advil. A dollar coupon of the 8.00 dollars for 80 count bottle that would last till I die – or the 3.78 for the slightly larger bottle then I normally would buy. Stupid coupon. Next up, Tylenol. Oops, all recalled. Then down the make-up aisle, where the coupons I had basically told me to 1)stand on my head 2)jump around twice and then 3)pick a trial size and get .35 off.

Seriously, coupons are so stupid. And with both kids, I feel like I have a nanosecond to decide what to do before things start flying on the floor or yelling ensues. Trust me, that is not enough time to weigh decisions. For some of you it is, for me, it is not.

The three of us made it through several more aisles before Riley needs a potty break. I am beginning to wish it was my nap time as we schlep to the back of the store to the family restroom. We wait for what seems like eons. Finally, a younger walmart employee comes out of family restroom and we head in. I swear it smells like a fresh cigarette. Riley is running around with his pants down trying to decide whether to use the big or the little potty, Serah is gnawing on the front of the cart (did I disinfect that when we came in?) and I happen to look up at the mirror over the sink.

“What the *(^*&!!!” I almost say out loud. Who was that person staring back at me?

Seriously, how had I left the house looking like this? I thought I looked okay, but here in the washed out lights of the cigar smelling Walmart family bathroom I wondered what I was thinking! I scrounged through the cart of items I had done the coupon dance with and applied some lipstick. Next, I uncorked the leave in conditioner I had and started frantically spraying my dull, flat, fly away hair.

At this point, Riley, asks “Mommy, why are you using the stuff we haven’t paid for?”

I laughed…… and looked through my cart for any chocolate.


Stupid 6 week challenge.

I proceeded to put my hair up. Then put it down. I wondered where the closest hats in the store were I might go get. I wondered why I had put the shirt on that I had – did I really think it flattered me? Hopefully this wasn’t going to be the day I ran into someone I needed to impress…..

Serah looked at me. Riley looked at me. I looked at me. Riley looked at Serah. Serah looked at Riley. There was lots of looking. Then Riley, deciding that whatever was happening with me was above and beyond him, began ritual negotiations about us visiting the toy aisle and possibly buying a toy because he had seen one he really needed.

Time for mom to do some self reflection in the mirror – over.

Mommy moments. I don’t remember ever having a moment like that when I was single or even first married. Somehow kids, the suburbs, my own changed perspective have led me to moments of disconnect. Like the blog entry I posted on how I wore my red DI shoes to volunteer and they asked me what I did for a living and I said “stay at home” and they asked “what else?”

Some days are good. Some days are bad. But all days are my life. So bring on the fly away hair and crazy outfits – I embrace you fully! — But that doesn’t mean you don’t freak me out every now and then.

Luckily tonight when Jed walked in the door from work, he welcomed me with “Hello beautiful…..”


  1. says

    Here I've got you beat. Yesterday I was at the store and felt something "interesting" on my front and looked down to see I had to huge wet circles right where my you know whats sit. Yup, forgot to put in nursing pads that morning. I walked around in shame the rest of that shopping trip.

  2. says

    OMG Patti! You crack me up! I hope your crazy life begins to calm down a little very soon! Tell Jed you could really use a day at the salon for your anniversary this year–you deserve it! 🙂

  3. says

    Now that is a wonderful husband! Wow, can I relate to this post! And I can't stand coupons. Maybe if I didn't have any kids I'd use them. I just can't when I bring my kids and when I go to the store by myself I am in too big of a hurry to use them then. Thanks for a good laugh!

  4. says

    Well you still have your writer freak on! I love this! I think I have bought a hat before at Walmart. lol. And I love what Jed said…I love how husbands can say one sweet thing and make everything all ok again. 🙂

  5. says

    It gets better…. Now that I've been a mom almost 8 years, I feel like I sometimes have a handle on things, and I even (on occasion) look good while doing it. There were a number of years where I avoided looking in mirrors or windows. I didn't want to know.

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